The Case of The Wonky Spine
"Straight back, you look like the hunch back of Notre dame"
"Eilidh, you're leaning... No you're still leaning!"
"I can see your bra strap"
Scoliosis is condition in which the spine is curved or wonky. It can cause one shoulder to lean to one side, uneven hips and bad posture and, in my case and I'm sure many others , pain.
It's a rather common condition and I am fortunate to be in a situation where I have brilliant medical care and that my condition isn't severe enough for anything as scary as surgery however I must I say I had had small battles with my wonky spine.
Despite the fact that I've only been diagnosed in the last six months, I have actually had it since I was at least eleven, the pain started two weeks before I was diagnosed and before then I just wandered through my younger years blissfully, pain free and unaware of the nature of the problem however it has got harder to ignore. Although there is definite pain, there is also psychological things with it. First of all, waiting for for physio without knowing 100% if I didn't need surgery was scary but now I know I don't it's a bit easier.
I now see my bad posture a lot, and I know it looks odd but if I lift my shoulder up so it's levelled my unused muscles scream at me at the uneasy feeling that it isn't what I'm used too. When I'm in the bath I turn to see one side of my back is raised as if its a weird mound whilst the other is flat. Sometimes I think it looks really weird, and sometimes it does makes me feel self conscious. I'll walk down the street and I'll catch my reflection in a window of a shop and I'll see the way I bend forward slightly. I see the way I leaned to the side. And in those moments the comments on it stick. I know people try to help by commenting on it, trying to straighten it but the "jokey" comments do hurt. I know it's silly, I know it's a mild form , I am lucky not to need surgery but frankly, when you're having to try and discreetly pulled your bra straps up whilst running in P.E it does all get a tad irritating.
My physiotherapist has been brilliant. She doesn't make "jokes" about it, and she's really nice. I've been to two appointments so far, the exercises given are hard but they do work. It's going to be hard work to cure the curve and it'll never fully be gone. I look forward to the day where I don't feel self-conscious as I catch my reflection of my bad posture. I look forward to being able to have straighten up and remain straight and normal without it being a challenge, a weird pain. Until then I'll manage through the everyday pain by standing against the wall with my arm up in the air (a exercise I have) and think "Oh this is what it's like to have a straight spine...I hope I won't need to walk down the street like this"