A letter to my younger self.

Dear 13 year old me,

Hello there! How are you? I know as a 13 year old you're doing pretty well with some things. You're adoring secondary school and  you're learning biology! Which is awesome!! You're feeling very grown up because of it and your group of friends are absolute geek goals. Getting to go to conventions, going to town without the parents. It's all fab!

I know the periods aren't as good as you expected and your skin is a bit mortifying which, unfortunately, are both still the case but I promise I'm working on it. As for your fashion and your hairstyle, that improves dramatically-  trust me you'll thank me later. Also, the eyeliner. Please try start flicking it just a little bit... Other than that you're doing pretty much okay.

I am writing to you from 2018. It is February 22nd by the time you're reading this and I will be on a train back to our home. To London. I think you'll be pleased about that. The fact you're returning to the birthplace and hometown as we officially turn to an adult, to your happy place. Because even though the appreciation for Glasgow increases, the desire to go back to London never dies but flourishes.

I suppose I am here to give you advice. What would I say to my 13 year old self? To You? Because you think you're so grown up but you're really not, my love. And to be honest, you know the little issues you're having at the moment? The niggling sensations? Well it turns into a life lesson. It becomes a rather big deal.

You're about to go through a lot and you will have to grow up very quickly and become even maturer that you already are. And you feel grown up for entirely different reasons. And I wish I could hold you close and protect you because you were far too young to have to deal with anything like that.

Sometimes, I think in a way you wouldn't like me. You have very different dreams, people you never thought you'd have and friends you'd never thought would become exes. Things you'd never thought I would let go but moments you never thought you'd ever get.

I don't want you to think it's all bad because it isn't. My point is that, my advice to you is that you're mature and strong at such a young age. And that is amazing, keep that for as long as you can, as much as you can. But also, please don't worry so much. It's okay to laugh and muck about and have fun when you can. Life is full of enough complication, paranoia and worry. So please, do not worry about not being cool enough for people. Do not worry about not being into the right typical teenage things. Do not worry about passing exams you're not even near yet.

I just want you to relax, okay? You are good enough, you're doing okay. Nothing is wrong with you. Keep being yourself. Keep being that feisty, happy, kind and enthusiastic girl. Be brave though. Be brave and keep strong. If you keep being your honest self, you'll realise that yourself comes with this insane persistence. And you will be not just alright. But absolutely brilliant. You know how hard we are on ourselves. So trust me when I tell you that you are a rather remarkably resilient young girl.

And in the words of someone who has a massive place in your heart, in her own words to -

"Chin up, my friend. Keep strong and stay kind. Have faith in yourself, I believe in you so you must too" .

Have fun in London this summer. See you there in February 2018.

Big love from your  big self,
Eilidh xxx